I am terrified to post on YouTube.
Chances are no one will watch what I post, which is fine.
It's mostly for me, but it's also to share things with the world.
Like it says on my Instagram, I explore communicative memory, which is what happens in the here and now. However, the reason why who has agency and who has a voice matters today is because most of us want to play a role in the future, somehow. We want to make a difference. We want to leave some lasting legacy or impression.
So, I think one thing I can do to get over my fear of working on my YouTube channel is to tell you about the narratives that come up for me and some of the things I am working on.
Narratives that come up for me when I think about YouTube:
You're too old to start a YT channel.
No one cares about what you have to say.
Nobody will watch your channel.
You don't have a good enough camera.
You don't know what you are doing.
I am working on a channel. I have draft emails ready to go. I have shot some videos. One day, I might even post those even though my content has pivoted from lifestyle and unboxings to my professional passions. I am very excited for the future, but I am also terrified. That first step is a daring, intimidating doosey.
"terrified sandwich" by Sakurako Kitsa is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 2.0
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